I discovered an interesting fact today. I found out that there are currently over 50 shades of natural grey hair color. Interesting, isn’t it? 

Just two weeks ago, my friend and I had a heated argument about hair while we rode the TTC bus. TTC being the Toronto Transit Commission.

It was an eye-opening discussion— at least for me.

The prelude to our argument began when I looked around the bus and saw an East Asian-looking woman. She had beautiful hair. It looked really silky, nice and long. 

I wondered how easy it must be to manage her hair, so I told my friend, Koko, to see how beautiful her hair is.

Koko looked at the woman, but she had a different opinion. She had her preference for what race had the “best and long looking hair.”

“It’s all genetics. That’s why black hair can’t grow past a certain length.” She retorted.  

“Excuse me?!” I asked sharply. “What do you mean Black hair can’t grow past a certain length? I am living proof that Black kinky hair can grow!”

“Oh no, I am not saying our hair doesn’t grow. It just can’t grow beyond a certain length. It’s all genetics and science. Experiments have been carried out, and there’s evidence that you can only have long hair if it’s in your genes.”

“What?! That’s ridiculous Koko. Okay, forget about me — I follow Nigerian hair influencers with waist-length hair and even more!”

“I disagree,” said Koko. “If you check their history, you will see it has something to do with their genes”.

“Look Koko. I agree. Genes have a role to play.

But so does consistency.

You cannot compare a cactus that thrives on little water with a plant that needs daily care and say one is weaker than the other.

That’d just be unfair.

Our hair, like plants, have their context. We shouldn’t limit Black hair’s potential simply because it requires more effort. We were never really taught how well to care for our hair while we were young.”

Koko interjected quickly, saying “my mom taught me how to care for my hair.”

“Okay, fair enough. Your mom taught you how to care for your hair—but you need to realize that our hair is like our skin. You can’t apply a one-size-fit-all routine and perception for all hair types. It’s simply unfair.

Our hair is capable of growing if you do what’s required and understand it.

We shouldn’t let limited perceptions define what is or what could be.

It’s pure facts Koko.

Yes, genes have a role to play but so does consistency and and the willingness to learn and grow. We should also know that two conflicting truths can exist. It’s not a case of ‘either this or that.’ The world is too complex to be simplified in white and black. The grey area is where real growth happens.

Our hair, like plants — and like us humans — is layered. You have to understand it to see its potential.

Your view that black hair can only grow because of genetics isn’t mutually exclusive with the idea that it can also grow through understanding, consistency, knowledge and commitment.

I will never give up on my hair because that’d be me succumbing to the belief that growth can only take place if you are lucky to be born with it. But it’s not something you are born with.

Learning to grow and retain the length of Black hair is something you learn as you go.

I have gone through several phases with my hair. I have tried out a lot of things. Was it challenging? Absolutely! But again, I will never give up on my hair.

I choose it every single day because it is my crown. True growth happens when we face challenges, embrace reality and stop taking the blue pill. Over time, I’ve adjusted and readjusted what I needed to do to help my hair grow and thrive to be where it is today — because I learned with each passing phase, Koko.

And as you probably can tell, my hair is thriving!”

“Well,” she replied, “I’ll still argue with you, because all I know is that it’s genetic.”

“I’d also argue to the death,” I laughed. “But you know what? It’s okay to hold your view. Let’s drop the conversation.”

And we dropped the conversation.

But the conversation never really ended for me. Yes, maybe there are over 50 shades of grey —but I think that’s the point of life, right?

Because every time I choose to care for my crown and nurture it, I challenge the limits the world tries to put on me — or how it sees me.

That’s more than enough.

It’s more than genetics.

It’s freedom.