Have you ever felt overwhelmed?

I bet you have. Most of us have and I have too.

But what overwhelms us differs.

It could be the feeling of not being good enough even though we know we are more than capable.

Or maybe it’s life, adulting or headache.

Whatever it is, overwhelmingness is almost inevitable as we live and that applies to me too because today, was one of those days that even though I know I shouldn’t be overwhelmed,  for some reasons, I was.

It felt like an invisible air that enveloped me as I started my day and stayed with me until it ended. I really didn’t know where , how or why it came from where it did. But it’s so funny what the act of a stranger can do when we least expect or in this case, as I battled with being overwhelmed.

I was on my own thinking about thinking when suddenly,  I saw a woman at the train station.  She saw me, smiled so beautifully and screamed “have a nice day and see you tomorrow!”

Her smile made me smile even though I didn’t feel like responding. Or rather,  wasn’t a 100 percent to respond the way I should have. 

It was amazing how smiling, even forced ones, can do a lot. But beyond all of this, one thing that struck me was when she said “see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow?”

But I don’t know this woman. I’ve never seen her before so  why would she address me like that?

Maybe,  she mistook me for someone else. Perhaps,  she didn’t know what she was doing.

But then again, do we really know what we’re doing?

Many of us live on autopilot. Not in a way that means we don’t know what we’re doing but in a way that shows we are oblivious to not even knowing what we are doing. 

A few months ago, my very beautiful and intelligent niece asked:

“Aunty Ruka, why do you have to tell me what to do?”

“Well, it’s because you’re a child and you need guidance.”

“But what if we tell adults what to do instead?”

“Oh God! I can’t imagine that. It’d be chaotic!”

“I think I have a better idea Aunty Ruka. What if kids rule the world?”

I laughed and told her it was impossible.  Impossible for kids to rule the world.

In hindsight, I think she asked a genuine question. 

“What if kids rule the world?”

I know it’d be chaotic for sure but aren’t we all kids, ruling the world as best as we can? We depend on adults to guide us while forgetting that those adults are navigating life for the first time as well.

Growing up and even now, I heard people say adults know what they are doing.

I don’t think so.

I think adults know what they’re doing is figuring things out.

Because if we’re so perfect as “adults”, why are things still chaotic within and around us?

If I had the chance to answer my niece again.

I’ll tell her we’re once and sometimes still kids like her, trying to navigate the world for the first time.