Isn’t it interesting how the small things in our lives often model the big ones? Is it a coincidence? Or is it life’s way of guiding us after our missteps?

Recently, I  got my own “this is what life is trying to tell you through your everyday actions” when doing a random act that I, like everyone else, do.

So commuting in Toronto requires taking the subway. Anyone who lives there knows it’s a lifeline. There’s the line 1, which I love to call the yellow line and the line 2, which maybe everyone else loves to call the green line.   

I usually take the subway on one of those lines to commute but midway,  the tracks change and the doors switch sides. Think of it this way- before the change,  the door opens on one side then on the other after the change.

Lately, I’ve been observing subtleties that I previously didn’t. As you would have probably guessed, not everyone gets to sit on the subway. I personally don’t.  Call me irrational but I like to think of it as “the things I’ve seen just won’t let me.” If this were a movie, it’d definitely be titled “Rukkie’s Rational Irrationality.”

So I found that people, who were also rationally irrational or forcefully found themselves standing, engage in an unplanned choreography every single day. Everyone standing in the subway naturally faced the exit. And this makes sense right?

Wrong!

Because if we all know the tracks will change, why not face the right exit direction from the start? 

Is it because it’s discomforting to stare into people’s eyes? Or is it an attempt to not appear awkward? I didn’t have these questions until I recently decided to face my exit door from the start. 

To be honest, it felt strange staring into people’s eyes. I saw the discomfort in the eyes of the poor man I faced when it happened the first time. We looked like lovers in love. Eventually, the discomfort faded and I fell in love with different people every day.

My aha moment comes when midway into my journey, my split second lovers and everyone else turn to face the direction I always faced.

It’s fun to witness but maybe not so much because frankly, I have been thinking a lot about change.

How do we know it’s time for change?

I’m a big believer in changing for good but maybe the most important question isn’t what we are changing into. Rather, it’s what we’re changing for and why we’re changing at all.

Should we change if we know we’re being influenced by externalities? Or should we change if we knew our direction but were only trying to fit in? In both cases, my answer will be a resounding no which quite frankly,  reminded me why I’m rationally irrational.

And maybe being rationally irrational is the entire point of life. Choose your direction even if it feels uncomfortable.  Stick to your guns even if it means standing out. Face the right direction even if it means looking into strangers’ eyes.

Because that discomfort might just be the change that you needed all along.